i need to say thank you and youre welcome more. so many times people say or do nice things for me. usually i just say 'this is cool' or something similar, but but i never know what exactly to say.

this is especially true when people send me art. most people expect some crazy, all caps, keyboard slam reaction. but i don't want to sugarcoat my reaction. i understand why people expect that reaction. it feels good to recieve, it feels like someone is jumping for joy at something you made. but i cannot force myself to be somebody that i'm not.
with the art thing, when it started happening more, i started going offline, usually for multiple days at a time. i would think of what to say, but could never come up with anything. eventually i had to force myself to look at pieces i received when the bereal notification went off.
this reached the point where eventually i did one of the dumbest things, and i still completely regret it. i asked people to not draw art for me unless they asked me beforehand. half the time, it didnt even work, and people would still send me drawings anyways. the other half the time, people would ask me, i would give them the greenlight, but they either would never see my response, or they would forget, and it would never happen. this sucks because 2 people i REALLY liked asked me for permission, i said yes, but it never happened.
i wish i could go back in time and stop myself from adding the "no art of me please" warning to my bios. i haven't gotten a single piece of art since i added it, and im happy because i have peace, but MAN does it feel bad.

i hate not being able to say thank you. the only times when i really do is when i have to for work, and if i can avoid doing it, i do. either that, or when i can say thank you to someone indirectly.

Thank you.